Learned aggressive behavior in children will often begin to be manifested in violent tendencies at school and play. A 1985 YWCA training manual for volunteers provided a list of “signs” that a young boy in their care might be living in an abusive home including serious temper tantrums, continual fighting with other kids or siblings, lashing out at pets or objects, violent threats, modeling a parent's aggression.

The guide notes that “with girls...signs are not so obvious.” For girls, withdrawal or cringing when an arm is raised, are common indicators.

It is important to note that there are few absolutes in the study of juveniles and their reactions to violence. Many experts point out that while a high percentage of violent adults come from violent family environments, not every child exposed to such an upbringing will act out violently as an adult or become a victim.

However, studies show that kids who live in communities under siege by violence, outside the home as well as in, are more susceptible to accepting violence as a way of life.

“In my opinion, kids who are witnesses to violence at home, or victims of violence,” said Hanks, “are doubly traumatized if they also grow up in a community where there's a lot of violence, or juvenile or adult crime, or just a general level of un-safety in their neighborhood, which unfortunately a lot of kids experience these days.”

With little girls, the cycle of violence is perpetuated through an acceptance of the role of the victim.

“My view is that women who witnessed their own mothers being abused and/or were abused as children are unable to screen out potentially violent partners,” said Hanks. “They're missing an internal sense of outrage and alarm about the abuse they're experiencing.”

In the end, Lahshawnduh pleaded with her mother to accept an invitation to spend the rest of the night on our sofa bed. She brought her big white teddy bear along, and all three got a few hours of needed rest before the start of the new day.

That afternoon the little girl came over “just to say hi.”

“I like it here,” Lahshawnduh said as she plopped herself onto the couch.

“Essays, Poetry and Other Writings About Family Violence”
FAMILY VIOLENCE AWARENESS PAGE

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