How to Keep Your Cool At School

By Peter Nicks
Contributing Writer

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"I'm trying to curb this stigma that we just kick it over here," said Olufemi to a group of visiting students. "What I'm trying to do is give you an alternative to what you do. You can cuss somebody out or you can handle it another way."

The job of the student mediators is fairly straightforward. They must diffuse arguments before they get out of hand. At the heart of their efforts is the "I Message."

"The 'I message' is basically like, we tell the person what they did, describe it and tell them what it made us think, how it made us feel and what we need them to understand," said Cassandra Tribble, 17, one of Olufemi's students. "And when we say it in that way, basically they understand you, they listen to you. They don't interrupt you because you're coming at them in a calm way."

Olufemi uses a mixture of crisis intervention techniques and personal stories to reach her students.

"My mom had died when I was ten years old," Olufemi told a recent class. "So I had a lot of aggression, I had a lot of anger. The biggest feeling that haunted me was I felt abandoned, I felt alone all the time. So, when I felt alone, I started up mischief."

That mischief led her to a crossroads -- she narrowly escaped an arson charge and decided it was time to change. She embraced her role as a student crisis mediator.

In her students, you can catch glimpses of Olufemi's own life as a confused, young girl.

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