What about the Children? Domestic Violence Hurts Everyone There were loud voices, slamming doors, the sound of objects hitting walls and then finally a scream. But after knock on the front door, there was only silence. An attractive, heavy-set African-American woman opened the door. The hour was close to 4 a.m. in the usually quiet Berkeley neighborhood. Tears and embarrassment overflowed from cocoa-brown eyes as Lisa, a 31-year-old single mother, reluctantly welcomed the concerned neighbors into her living nightmare. Hiding behind her was a small girl, wearing blue pajamas covered with white cows jumping over yellow crescent moons. Lisa's daughter, Lahshawnduh, grabbed the off-duty reporter's hand. “He was going to kill us,” the six-year-old whispered, pulling me into the apartment and down the hallway. The door to the master bedroom had been busted open; the wood surrounding the lock splintered by the force of anger. Lisa's “friend” was inside putting on his pants. “I'm leaving,” he muttered. “You didn't call the police, did you?” Little Lahshawnduh clung to the neighbor, before tonight, a relative stranger. Lisa sat on the bed rubbing the place on her head where she had been hit. “Most of the time he's a really good guy,” she attempted to explain. “He's only like this when he drinks.” “He whacked her head with the phone last week,” Lahshawnduh exclaimed, her voice gaining confidence only after the man had left. Domestic violence -- most commonly the abuse of a woman by her spouse or intimate partner -- is becoming widely recognized as a serious problem in our society. According to FBI crime statistics, it is the number one crime against women ages 15-44 -- accounting for more violence than accidents, muggings and rapes combined. In the wake of the O.J Simpson trial, a public spotlight has been turned on the tragedy and devastating effects of domestic abuse. But what about the children? Despite an abundance of expert opinion, anecdotal evidence, and preliminary research, the long-term impact of family violence on children is still far from conclusive. Nonetheless, most psychologists agree that even children who merely witness abuse in their home are likely to suffer profound mental trauma that could eventually put them on their own path to violence. Dr. Susan Henks, the founding director of the Family Violence Institute in Alameda, co-authored a 1987 study on the “Assessment and Treatment of the Child Witness of Marital Violence.” Prompted by the observations of social workers who noted behavior difficulties in the children who accompanied mothers to battered women shelters, the report details the “adjustment problems in children whose families are violent.” According to Hanks' research, domestic violence creates recurring opportunities for trauma in children, which is aggravated when the parental nurturing that might buffer such stress and trauma is lacking because the mother is preoccupied with trying to keep the peace. Additionally, studies of violent adults have shown that aggressive behavior is passed through the generations. This is most common in boys, according to Hanks. They are often attracted to the aggressor role, which is seen as the safer, more powerful one in the family. But this violence doesn't always stay behind closed doors, but will often spill out into society in the form of violent behavior. |
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